Facts about Chuck Norris
For me, these
are more than facts, there are the
impossible; more than that, there are the
absurd of life. But somebody has
to do these and only Chuck Norris can do them. I shouldn’t do this to the actor,
but some ideas are really funny. I guess that everything written here can apply
to anyone of us, right?
Among
thousands of facts I choose the ones referring to the entertainment world.
ABOUT Chuck Norris
Cameras
can't take pictures of Chuck Norris
because nothing can take anything from Chuck Norris.
Chuck
Norris filmed the making of the
first camera.
Chuck
Norris has his hand prints in the sidewalk on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. He insisted on doing them after the
concrete had set.
Chuck
Norris is not allowed at Disneyland,
because they want to keep it the happiest place on earth.
Chuck Norris
wrote his own IMDB profile using the
power of his beard.
Coroners
refer to dead people as ABC 's: Already Been Chucked.
Never
ask Chuck Norris for an autograph.
Why? Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
Nunchuck
= traditional Okinawan weapon. It is not a coincidence it has Chuck Norris
first name on it.
ACTORS / ACTRESSES
Arnold
Schwarzenegger
Arnold
Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to 'Get down!'.
Arnold
Schwarzenegger
stopped acting because Chuck Norris dared him to steal his identity one more
time and make another Terminator film.
Arnold
Schwarzenegger was lucky he met the Predator in the
forest instead of Chuck Norris.
Chuck
Norris is the real reason Arnold
Schwarzenegger never smiles.
Chuck Norris
makes Terminator look like Wall-E ...
The role of Terminator was originally played by
Chuck Norris, but they decided against it as no-one would want to shit their
pants for two hours strait.
Bruce Lee
Bruce
Lee once defeated Chuck Norris. Where's
Bruce Lee now?
Bruce
Lee's first and only mistake in life was
teaching Chuck Norris the round house kick.
Bruce Lee's weapon of choice is the nunchuck, which is named after Chuck
Norris' toothpick.
Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick 20 Bruce Lee's in one second.
Finally, they
discovered real cause of Bruce Lee's
death – extreme exhaustion from fight with Chuck Norris.
When
Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris fought,
they needed a stunt double for every time Chuck Norris attacked.
Charlie Sheen
Charlie
Sheen winning? Chuck Norris says 'I think
not'
Chuck Norris smokes Charlie Sheen to get high and still can't catch a buzz!
Everyone
else may explode snorting the drug known as Charlie Sheen, Chuck Norris will snort Charlie Sheen whole!
Megan Fox
Chuck Norris can resist Megan Fox.
In
the original story of Hansel and Gretel
Chuck Norris was there instead of the evil witch, the children are now known as
Jet Lee and Megan Fox.
Steven
Seagal
Chuck Norris
once watched a Steven Seagal movie. He
was forced to kill everyone in his area, for he had just shed his first tear -
of boredom.
If
Chuck Norris were a brick wall Steven
Seagal couldn't break him into pieces.
In
his movies, Steven Seagal talks like
he has his foot in his mouth. In real life, Chuck Norris has his foot in Steven
Seagal's mouth.
Steven Seagal is the Anti-Chuck Norris.
Angelina Jolie adopts an
orphan once a year, Chuck Norris orphans a kid once a minute.
Charles Bronson was Chuck
Norris' death wish until he became Charles Bronson's' death wish and killed him
first.
Chuck
Norris and Jean Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live anacondas.
Chuck
Norris is better looking than Tom Cruise,
smarter than Stephen Hawking and more enraged than Mel Gibson.
Chuck Norris' version of the Three
Stooges are Sylvester, Steven and Jean-Claude.
Hollywood
Hulk Hogan couldn't rip Chuck
Norris' shirts.
If
Clint Eastwood told Chuck Norris to
get off his lawn ... Chuck would get the hell off his lawn!
If Daniel
Day-Lewis has a milkshake and Chuck Norris has a milkshake, Chuck will get
the Oscar.
Steve Austin, the Six Million Dollar man, was in
fact Chuck Norris. They changed his name out of fear.
They
had to edit the first ending of ꞌLone wolf McQuadeꞌ after Chuck Norris kicked David Carradine's ass, then proceeded
to barbecue and eat him.
LITERATURE
Stephen
King
Chuck Norris can write a scarier book
than Stephen King using refrigerator
magnets.
Stephen King writes a horror
book twice a year, Chuck Norris makes a horror 10 times a day.
Chuck
Norris CAN finish reading the The never
ending story.
Chuck Norris doesn't write books the words assemble
themselves in fear.
Chuck
Norris found Waldo before the books
came out.
Chuck Norris had his DNA sequenced ...
scientists were shocked to find out it was a copy of The art of war.
Chuck
Norris memorized all of Shakespeare's
sonnets while eating a bowlful of rusty fishhooks.
Chuck
Norris was once a knight in King Arthur's
court. He was known as Sir Beatdown.
Dracula once bit Chuck
Norris and broke his teeth.
Hannibal Lecter once tried to
eat Chuck Norris. All of his teeth had to be replaced.
Journey
to the center of the earth was actually created by Chuck
Norris while digging a hole for a pool.
Romeo and Juliet killed
themselves because they heard Chuck Norris was in town.
The
boy cries wolf, the wolf cries Chuck Norris.
To
be or not to be ... Only Chuck Norris knows the
answer.
When Aladdin rubbed the magic lamp out came Chuck Norris who then
roundhouse kicked him forty times.
MOVIES
300
Chuck
Norris has never seen the movie 300,
because it was inaccurate in its story; why would Chuck Norris need 299 men to
defeat an Army?
Chuck
Norris was originally going to play Leonidas in 300, but he kept kicking the Persian over the pit into outer space.
Chuck
Norris was supposed to play King Leonidas in 300, but when Gerard Butler won the role, Chuck later roundhouse
kicked him to the pit of death.
Chuck Norris went to Sparta and round house kicked LEONIDAS
down the hole.
Batman
A razor wasn't
the cause of the Joker's smile –
Chuck Norris was.
Chuck Norris also defeated Batman on a friendly bet, the loser had to start wearing his
underwear on the outside of his pants and a belt on top of it.
Chuck Norris
and Bruce Wayne once made a bet, the
loser had to wear a bat costume and pretend he was a superhero.
Chuck
Norris is the reason The Joker is
insane!
The Joker received a job
at Comedy Central, thanks to Chuck Norris.
Delta Force
After watching Delta force, Satan packed his bags en left Hell in fear off one day
having to face Chuck Norris in person.
Chuck Norris is so awesome he never has
to reload his Uzi in the entire movie Delta
Force.
The
movie Delta Force was extremely hard
to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were
completely unbelievable.
Godzilla
Chuck Norris
summoned Excalibur and slayed Godzilla
in one strike ... he didn't even use Excalibur.
Godzilla started
attacking Texas so Chuck Norris attacked Tokyo.
Godzilla
was created when a 5 year-old Chuck Norris was playing with his science kit.
Japan
has Godzilla, but Texas has Chuck
Norris.
There is no Godzilla, Chuck Norris’s pet iguana got loose and decided to
attacked Japan.
Harry Potter
Chuck
Norris painted every painting in Hogwarts.
Did
you know Chuck Norris played in the Harry
Potter movies? He was the magic.
Harry Potter needs 8 movies
to seek and destroy Voldemort. Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
If
Chuck Norris was Harry Potter, there
would be no series!
Lord Voldemort is just one of Chuck Norris'
Horcruxes.
The forbidden
name in Harry Potter was originally
Chuck Norris, but then the director got killed by saying it.
Voldemort
tried to kill Harry, Chuck Norris did.
Jaws
Chuck
Norris keeps the shark from Jaws in
a goldfish bowl.
Chuck Norris was actually in Jaws. He played the oxygen tank.
If
Chuck Norris replaced Roy Scheider,
the movie would have been known as 'Broken Jaws' and would have only lasted 12
minutes.
Jurassic
Park
Chuck
Norris can get Jurassic Park back
online without Dennis Nedry.
Jurrasic Park is a second name for Chuck Norris'
backyard.
Lord Voldemort refers to Chuck
Norris as 'He who must not be named'.
Voldemort
refers to Chuck Norris as 'You know who'.
Lord of the rings
If Chuck Norris was in Lord of the rings, he wouldn't need to
take it to Mount Doom, he would destroy it with one roundhouse kick
Matrix
In the movie The Matrix, Chuck Norris is the Matrix.
If you pay close attention in the green 'falling code' scenes, you can make out
the faint texture of his beard.
The Matrix once had to
take the red pill to escape from Chuck Norris. It failed.
The Matrix was made to
keep Chuck Norris at bay ... it didn't work.
Unlike Neo, Chuck Norris doesn't stop bullets
with his mind. The bullets are too afraid of Chuck Norris to even get close to
him.
MacGyver
MacGyver can build a
bomb out of paper clips, rubber bands, and soda cans. Chuck Norris can build a
bomb out of MacGyver.
MacGyver
can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can
round-kick his head through a wall and take it.
Rocky
Chuck Norris
knocked Rocky out in one punch.
Rocky Balboa was a lucky man
because Chuck Norris didn't pursue a boxing carreer.
The only
reason there are only five original Rocky
movies is because Chuck Norris was the only guy left who wanted to fight Rocky
in the sixth movie.
Star Wars
Chuck
Norris is Dark Vader's father.
Chuck Norris
is why Darth Vader needs to wear his
suit.
Correct
sentence structure, Yoda used.
Before Chuck Norris foot, he met.
Darth Vader dresses up as
Chuck Norris for Halloween.
Darth Vader serves the
Emperor. The Emperor serves Chuck Norris.
Darth Vader vs Chuck Norris
who will win. Some believes Darth Vader because he has the force, but don't
forget that Chuck is the force!
Jedi knights can use the
force. Because Chuck Norris invented it.
May the Force be with Chuck
Norris... for it's own good.
The reason Darth Vader wears that mask? A Chuck
Norris roundhouse kick. At half speed.
Yoda looked a lot
like Victoria Silvstedt before SHE met Chuck.
Texas
Chainsaw Massacre
Chuck
was in the original cast of Texas
Chainsaw Massacre, but left because he didn't understand why he needed a
chainsaw for the 'effects'.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre is an actual depiction of the fates met
by a group of delinquents who went to Texas except Chuck didn't need a chainsaw.
The killer in Texas Chainsaw Massacre, is really a 10 year old Chuck Norris, with
a toothpick .
Texas
Ranger
Brock Lesnar decided he had to beef up
after watching Season 1, Episode 1 of Walker
Texas Ranger.
Chuck Norris
was never aware of the filming of Walker
Texas Ranger.
During
the Walker, Texas Ranger theme, when
Chuck Norris sings the eye of the ranger
is upon you, it's probably true.
Grand
theft auto was created when the developer saw Walker Texas Ranger.
If
Chuck Norris ever fought Walker Texas
Ranger it would be the end of the Universe as we know it because it would
destry the space-time continuum.
Jails
in Texas don't have guards. As long as Chuck Norris is a Texas Ranger, nobody tries to escape.
NASA beams episodes of Walker, Texas Ranger to outer space as a
warning for Aliens of what will happen if they invade Earth.
New never-before-seen behind-the-scenes
shots from Walker Texas Range shows
Chuck Norris carrying his truck home after it broke down.
Power
Rangers is loosely based on Texas Ranger.
The
Loch Ness Monster and Bigfoot hid themselves far beyond civilization after they
saw what Chuck Norris could do to a bear in Walker Texas Ranger.
The phrase 'break a leg' was originally
coined by Chuck Norris's co-stars in Walker, Texas Ranger as a good luck charm indicating that a broken leg
might be the worst extent of their injuries. This never proved to be the case.
They
say 'Walker, Texas Ranger' was at first made to be a reality show.
Those are not credits that role at the
end of Walker Texas Ranger, those
are in fact fatalities that happened during filming.
Walker
Texas Ranger was based on Chuck Norris' childhood.
Walker Texas Ranger went into syndication before
the first episode was shot.
When an
episode of Walker Texas Ranger was
aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe
side.
When
Chuck Norris became a Texas Ranger,
the state was able to save millions by laying off the rest of their police
force.
The Avengers
Chuck
Norris is so powerful, he makes The Avengers look like children in
costumes.
Chuck
Norris once separated his powers into five people, they are now called The Avengers.
The
Expendables
Chuck
Norris is not in the Expendables ...
because he is not expendable.
Chuck
Norris makes the Expendables look
like a bunch of Justin Beiber fans.
Chuck
Norris was denied a part in The
Expendables because Chuck is in no way shape or form Expendable.
In
Expendables 2 Chuck Norris makes
sure there is no Trilogy.
Some
questioned why Chuck Norris is not in the movie - The Expendables. The true is, if they got Chuck, it'd have to be
renamed as the Invinsibles.
The
Expandables is just a brief summary of Chuck's 1st
paragraph in his autobiography book called The
Expandable.
The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing
Chuck Norris killing people.
The
Expendibles was supposed to be a 4-hour movie, but
a cardboard cutout of Chuck was found on the set. They are still looking for
Sly and the gang.
Unlike some other famous action-movie
actors, Chuck Norris is not expendable.
Titanic
Chuck
Norris sank the Titanic on a late
afternoon swim.
Chuck
Norris sunk the Titanic when he beat
the captain at a game of battleship.
Chuck
Norris was the reason the Titanic
sank. The iceberg was just a cover-up.
IF
Chuck Norris had been aboard the Titanic,
the iceberg would have moved out of the way.
Leonardo DiCaprio had to ask permission from Chuck Norris
to say the famous line 'I’m the king of the world'.
A horror movie is Chuck's comedy.
Chuck Norris appeared and Hulk went green.
Chuck
Norris can beat the Man of Steel
just by staring at him.
Chuck
Norris can call Ali G's Julie A slag.
Chuck
Norris CAN keep up with the Joneses.
Chuck Norris
can stop the beat. Sorry Hairspray.
Chuck
Norris can watch The Sopranos on The
Disney Channel.
Chuck
Norris doesn't audition for movies,
he simply sends in home videos.
Chuck
Norris doesn't need to be taught How to
train his dragon.
Chuck
Norris has Schindler on his list.
Chuck
Norris is a man of True Grit.
Chuck Norris is not in this world to
live up to your expectations. You are only to watch his movies and weep with fear.
Chuck
Norris is so awesome that Ellen once
asked him for a date.
Chuck Norris
is the real man inside of Chucky.
(the killer doll)
Chuck
Norris is the reason you don't mess with
the Zohan.
Chuck
Norris IS what Willis is talking
about.
Chuck
Norris knows how to get to Sesame Street.
Chuck
Norris made The Godfather an offer
he couldn't refuse.
Chuck
Norris' massuse is King Kong.
Chuck Norris not only Dances with wolves! He buys them dinner
first!
Chuck
Norris once had a dream, the result was Inception
... Only Chuck never sleeps.
Chuck Norris once watched all 251 episodes of M.A.S.H in three and a half hours.
Chuck Norris watches tv faster than anyone else.
Chuck Norris saw Predators. He walked out laughing, halfway through it.
Chuck Norris showed Lassie how to come home.
Chuck Norris sleeps in Seattle.
Chuck
Norris took the Wrong Turn, nothing
happened.
Chuck
Norris uses a stunt double during
crying scenes.
Chuck
Norris was in all 6 star wars films
as THE FORCE.
Chuck Norris was
originaly cast in the movie Lost in
Space, but declined the role because he never gets lost.
Chuck Norris
was supposed to make a cameo appearence in Full
House, but he was let off because he wanted to rename the show 'Roundhouse'.
Chuck Norris watched the first season of 24 in 5 hours.
Chuck
Norris won an Oscar without being
nominated.
Chuck
Norris wrote the sequel to the movie Happy
Feet, which is called 'Angry Feet'. The plot is he roundhouse kicks every
penguin into space.
Chucks
favourite James Bond movie is Live and
let die.
Did
you know they made a movie about
Chuck Norris? It’s called 'The Incredible Hulk'.
Forrest Gump was running
from Chuck Norris!
Hollywood uses Chuck
Norris to do all of the insane stunts because everyone know's only he can do
them.
If
Chuck were in the movie Nightmare on Elm
Street then it would be renamed 'Nightmare on Chuck Norris Street', because
nobody dared to get near him.
In
the first Jurassic Park movie, the
Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the
Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
In
the movie Jumper, the templars were
wrong. Chuck Norris deserves the abillity to be at all places at the same time.
In the X-Men movies, none of the X-Men
super-powers are done with special effects. Chuck Norris is the stuntman for
every character.
James Bond has a license
to kill. He got it from Chuck Norris.
James Bond says his name
twice to introduce himself. Chuck Norris just roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Katie Couric asked Chuck Norris 'how
many movies have you made?' / Chuck:
All of them!
Life is like a
box of chocolates
you never know when Chuck Norris is gonna kill you!
Never
before revealed script found. X-Files:
Truth is, Chuck Norris is out there.
Rambo is Chuck
Norris' pet human.
Since
Chuck Norris isn't Agent C in the MIB,
they have to use the neuralizer instead of roundhouse kick in the face to
neuralize people.
Star Trek's Captain Picard says: 'Space ...
the final frontier'. Chuck Norris says: 'Been there, done that'.
The day the
Earth stood Still
is based off the one day in Earth's history when Chuck Norris slept.
The disaster
movie 2012 was originally going to
be called 'The day Chuck Norris got out the wrong side of bed'.
The
movie Armageddon was originally
intended to have Chuck Norris. He was replaced to make the movie a lot longer.
The
movie The Hurt Locker is named after
the locker in Chuck Norris' bedroom in which he keeps his boots.
The
new Saw movie has Chuck Norris as a
trap.
The
only mind Edward cannot read is Bella's. That is because Bella thinks
about Chuck Norris.
The
opening scene of the movie Saving
Private Ryan is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in
second grade.
The
original title for Alien vs. Predator
was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The
producers of the movie The last
airbender are now in talks with Chuck Norris in Order to star him in their
next sequal 'The last skull bender'.
The pursuit of
happiness
is after Chuck Norris.
Think
Normal, you end up Six Feet Under.
Think Chuck Norris, you'll Live Forever.
Unicorns do exist. They just stay home
watching Chuck Norris movies.
What
did Bob say to Charlotte at the end of Lost
in translation that caused Charlotte to cry and leave? Chuck Norris.
When Chuck
Norris goes to the movies ... everybody
watches him.
When
Chuck Norris was young he was an extra in a film. When the film was released he was the star!
When
Chuck Norris watched the first Steven
Seagal and Jean Claude Van Damme
movies he thought they were supposed to be comedies.
When
E.T. tried to call home, he got
Chuck Norris on the phone!
When
the Hulk gets angrier, he becomes
Chuck Norris.
When
the Wicked Witch of the West saw
Chuck Norris, she melted.
Who
shot JR? Chuck Norris that's who.
MUSIC
Elvis Presley
Jimmy
Hoffa and Elvis are not dead ... They
are just hiding from Chuck Norris.
The reason that Elvis had left the building was because Chuck Norris had just
entered it.
Justin
Bieber
Chuck
Norris once though about beating up Justin
Bieber, the next day Justin Bieber became a girl ... Chuck Norris doesn't
fight women.
Chuck Norris
was walking in his neighborhood and kicked a bottle at the side of the road
which hit Justin Bieber.
If you rate
this 5 roundhouse kicks, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.
Justin Bieber
doesn't really sing for fame, money or anything .... Chuck Norris just wants
him to ...
Michael
Jackson
Michael Jackson does moonwalk because he doesn't have time to turn and run away from
Chuck Norris.
Michael Jackson turned pale
when he saw Chuck Norris.
Ozzy
Ozbourne
Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a
live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
Ozzy Ozbourne once bit the
head off a bat. Not one to be outdone, Chuck Norris bit the head off Batman!!
Lady Gaga
Chuck Norris
CAN see Lady Gaga's poker face.
Lady
Gaga was once a man, we called him Chuck
Norris.
Chuck
Norris beat Van Halen in a guitar
duel with a ukelaylee.
Chuck
Norris beat-boxed on stage in Vienna.
Chuck
Norris built his house using MC Hammer
to drive his Nine Inch Nails.
Chuck Norris can give Akon a distinguishable black eye.
Chuck
Norris can play Stairway with a
kazoo.
Chuck Norris can stand the rain ...
Chuck
Norris can stop the beat. Sorry Hairspray.
Chuck
Norris can stop the music.
Chuck
Norris can win a Grammy from
coughing.
Chuck
Norris CLIMBED the mountain and round house kicked Miley Cyrus down the other side.
Chuck
Norris doesn't listen to heavy metal,
he eats it for breakfast.
Chuck Norris ended the song that never ends.
Chuck
Norris is suing Avril Lavigne for
lying in her song 'The best damn thing'; Chuck Norris is the best damn thing
that your eyes will never see.
Chuck Norris is the only person to ever
win a staring contest against Ray
Charles and Stevie Wonder at the
same time.
Chuck
Norris made Eminem back down.
Chuck
Norris once stayed at the Hotel California
and was allowed to check out ... and leave.
Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at
him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
Chuck
Norris was Paul McCartney’s
inspiration when he wrote 'Live and let die'.
Drugs
sent Brittany Spears to rehab, Chuck
Norris sent drugs to rehab.
Every breath you
take, every move you make, every bond you break, every step you take – Chuck Norris
will be watching you.
Faith No More’s song 'Surprise!
You're dead!' is about an ill-fated encounter with Chuck.
Freddie Mercury isn't the champion, Chuck Norris is,
but he is a nice guy and decided to let him have this one.
Johnny Cash may Walk the line, but Chuck Norris drew it.
Justin Bieber has Chuck
Norris fever!
Justin
Timberlake
didn't bring sexy back Chuck Norris did.
Kanye interrupted
Chuck Norris, now he's girlier than Taylor
Swift.
Kenny G is allowed to live because
Chuck Norris doesn't kill women.
Led Zepplin never told anyone the truth ...
Chuck Norris built the Stairway to heaven.
Most
boots are made for walkin'. Chuck Norris' boots ain't that
merciful.
People
singing the Christmas song My two front
teeth must of met up with Chuck Norris.
Someone
tell Prince, that Chuck Norris made the doves cry.
The reason why 50 Cent survived 9 gunshots, is because Chuck Norris had possessed
him at that moment.
The
song Protect Ya Neck by the Wu-Tang
Clan was actually a subliminal warning to help a person avoid Chuck Norris from
snapping it.
The
song Rock of Ages by Def Leppard is
actually about Chuck Norris' Fists.
Try singing You can't always get what you want by
the Stones to Chuck Norris ...
When
Adele Set fire to the rain, Chuck made a camp fire underwater.
When
Chuck Norris listend to 'Highway to hell' he asked AC/DC How did you lived
there?
Spiderman
A
4-year old wears Spiderman pajamas, Spiderman
wears Chuck Norris pajamas, and Chuck Norris wears SHIMRIT pajamas.
Chuck
Norris once saw Spiderman on a wall,
took his newspaper out and swatted him.
Superman
Achilles
+ Zeus + Samson + Goliath + Hercules + Iron Man + Superman + Spiderman + Incredible Hulk + Wolverine
+ Rapunzel = Chuck Norris
Chuck
Norris can kill the entire human race in one second with a toothpick, while
fighting Godzilla and Superman, at
the same time.
Chuck
Norris makes sure Superman does his
job.
Chuck
Norris once donated blood to one man, he's now known as Superman.
Chuck
Norris once had a sidekick ... his name was Superman.
Chuck Norris tought Superman everything
he knows.
In the movie Cloverfield, Chuck Norris was the one
that broke off the Statue of Liberty's head ... by looking at it.
Some people
wear Superman pajamas. Superman
wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Superman's
weakness isn't kryptonite, it's obvious who it is ...
What
does Superman, Batman, and Ironman
have in common? When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris.
TV / TV SHOWS
American Idol
Chuck Norris really won American Idol. He never even had to
sing. He stood in the ready stance for a Roundhouse. And simon said YES
everytime.
Chuck
Norris was once turned down for American
Idol. When Simon was questioned about it, he replied 'I’m retiring after
this season'. I wonder why?
The
Amazing Race
Chuck
Norris won The Amazing Race in less than a day and without a partner.
If Chuck Norris was on The Amazing Race it would be called
Chuck Norris Won.
The
Apprentice
Chuck
Norris appeared as a contestant on Celebrity
Apprentice. He fired Donald Trump.
Chuck Norris
can't get fired by Donald Trump.
Chuck
Norris fires Donald Trump.
Chuck
Norris once applied for the Apprentice, he instantly was named the Apprentice.
Chuck
Norris called McDonald's through the television.
Chuck
Norris can get true stories from Fox
News.
Chuck
Norris can keep up with the Kardashians.
Chuck Norris
can tell you how to get to Sesame Street.
Chuck
Norris is Simon Cowell's judge.
Chuck Norris knows How he met your mother, but he won't tell you.
Chuck
Norris was kicked off Dancing with the
Stars because he needed a new partner every week.
Chuck Norris
watches 60 minutes in half an hour.
If Chuck
Norris ever went on Jeopardy they
would have to rename it Catastrophe.
Mortal Kombat tried to
include Chuck Norris in their game but then the game would be too easy.
No
Chuck Norris reality shows exist
because no one can survive in Chuck Norris' reality.
One day Chuck Norris decided he wanted
to live like everyone else.The next day he told CNN’s Anderson Cooper: 'It was the worst six seconds of my life'.
The
show Fear Factor was originally
named 'Chuck Norris Factor' until the final stunt i.e fighting Chuck Norris was
removed since nobody ever won.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island
with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go.
The walking dead is Chuck
Norris' favorite reality show.
When
Chuck Norris watches TV it changes the channel for him when he asks just out of
fear.
When
Jeremy Clarkson shouts POWER! on Top
Gear, he is describing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
